They couldn’t figure out what they wanted to be. First it was nice but reasonably priced Steakhouse, then Steakhouse sports bar, then high end sports bar. Brunch, then no brunch. It was weird and profit margins were too small. My friend took over the space, opening a tap room for the family brewery and it’s blowing…

I jumped on to add - none of those playbooks with the POSSIBLE exception of his rookie year have played to what his strengths as QB actually are: mobile quick-read shot taker who can run the RPO wrinkles due to superior athleticism. I would honestly love to see him take over the Seahaws or Panthers for like 1 game and…

Mariota isn’t blameless, but I have a hard time viewing him as the main culprit for this failure because I think it would be tough for any prospect develop into a top caliber QB when: 

Well...I guess SOME PEOPLE get to make edits after 15 minutes. Talk about privilege.

It takes an amazing act of assholery to make the Cardinals look like the team I want to root for. The Braves managed to get there. Well done. 

“I don’t see anything wrong here.”—Pete Carroll

Strange, I’ve never seen a slant pass at the goal line get picked off before...

Hearing Steve Harvey is involved, I want him at EVERY match, using that same Family Feud "I can't believe the answer I just heard" face. Or at least plastered on the jumbotron everytime something nuts happens in the ring.

“If eating at the ballpark, make sure to remind this female person that the hot dogs go in their mouth, as they are an easily confused sex and may embarrass themselves, or worse, you.”

Nick Young was so inspired by Jared Leto’s depiction of the Joker in Suicide Squad he went out and dropped 2 points on the Orlando Magic.

I’m not sure I’d want to see Intergluteal Cleft opening for anyone.

And got hurt while racking up those 18 yards

Off-topic, but is white-washing the logo the first step to changing the name?

His son could tell you that unhealthy scratches are worse.

And like that, the laughs of a million Steelers fans were suddenly silenced.

Proposing a ballot measure that if Miami goes 0-16 no member of the 1972 Dolphins can ever drink another drop of champagne. 

Pete Carroll and John Schneider concluded their successful heist by hopping in their getaway car, jumping over a river, and running for the county line.

I believe you mean “per THE® Ohio State™ code of laws.”

My guess is that there’s both a compulsory murder charge and a degree of difficulty murder charge for each person. 

the cops, understandably, expect him to flip on any accomplices