“I fingered that blonde lady backstage.”

At least she didn’t start with, “I have a black friend so it’s ok”.

If you have to utter the words “I’m not a racist” in any context, guess what?

Gotta say...if it weren’t for Jezebel, I’d have no idea who she was. In fact, I’m still not entirely sure...I guess she falls into the ‘famous for being famous’ category...

I swear he gets it right on his own every time. I’ll video him. This is how I do it.

Every drawing I see by a child just flat-out sucks

Why are we wasting our time on the boring Kardashians when The Golden Girls is not on streaming?

So would I. I’d look like a shiny tardis, but IDGAF.

I very much suspect you just made up, like, 80% of these names.

British events always make me feel so

No idea who she is, but she is magnificent.

Seriously looks like her dress came apart

Quanny

She reminds me of potatoes. Ore Ida, Rita Ora. I’ll see myself out

And now, neither can I. Thanks ever so much.

Now this is the Tweet Beat I knew and loved.

“Hey, I’m sorry I haven’t responded to any of your texts, I’ve just been really busy.”

Well that’s annoyingly logical answer ;)