I think we can just call it being an asshole. 

So THAT’S how One Direction got their name, I was always curious!

Ya know, despite being a comment on the internet, this was a very delightful read.

Man, they REALLY don’t want Johnny Manziel playing football.

Listen, I was 9 when the Tim Burton Batman came out too, but I try not to let it back me into bonkers takes like “Jack Nicolson was a better Joker than Heath Ledger.”

It’s assumed he’s #0 on the list above all others.

Unacceptable lack of Mark Hamill in there.

Apropos of this, there are way too many kinds of OREO!

Would President Jonah Ryan REALLY be any worse than what we’ve got now?

Ah yes, Buffalo Foie Gras.

If only Buffalo had some alternative form of poultry product it was famous for that they could substitute.

“Praise the rational equivalent of Jesus, what Bonhoeffer would call the spirit of beloved community.”

“If Mohammed Atta had you people booking his travel, he’d still be alive today. Which from his perspective would be a massive f#ckup.” I died.

The fact that one of the people running for president now, Amy Klobuchar, was apparently one of the inspirations for Selena is insane!

“80-story skyraper”

“Looked perfectly normal to me.”

“...and then I shot that gross girl before she could get her cooties on Jon. Right, Jon? Jon?”

Maybe they tried skinning it from the tail end the first time and were like, “well fuck, that was just about the worst thing ever. I am scratched to shit, neosporin hasn’t been invented yet, so I’m probably going to die if these scratches get infected. God, I think I would actually welcome death right now, I don’t…

I hope he masters karate and fights the Day King.