At least I’m not drowning in my own blood. Good night!

I was there. The large man with an egg in his crotch was on fire.

As a preventative measure, I will now have to bring up shoemakers’ contract law at every party, to avoid death. This will be somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy, yes...but the alternative (being wholly unprepared for your brutal attack) would be worse.

And if I ran into you at a party, and you just spouted these sorts of copypasta “putdowns” instead of anything remotely interesting or germane, you and your fingernails wouldn’t be close enough to me to do that.

I didn’t say his salary was too much.

Huh?

If we’re all trying to view this through the wages of a Californian, it would be Carl’s Jr., not Hardee’s.

Nike isn’t attacking this guy, just to be an overbearing and bitter dick about it.

The integrity of their contracts is important to Nike, especially the right of refusal. That is why they are more or less forced to pursue that. If they set this precedent, any athlete could refuse to provide full details of their “new” contract with someone else, and then pretend Nike didn’t match something which…

If Nike wasn’t presented with all the features of the contract, the reductions in question — and those were continuously obscured whether intentionally or not — they couldn’t possibly match it.

Nike promised to beat or match New Balance’s contract but their supposed matching added in things to the contract making it worse.

For Nike the issue of the integrity of their contracts, and the precedent set by Nike just “accepting” this interpretation of their contracts, is an important one.

Yes, I am still surprised that they can do that well. Good for them!

I don’t care if Nike wins or not.

Nope.

It’s a contract dispute.

Sure.

800m specialists can get $375,000/36 month shoe endorsements?

Roger Goodell immediately weighed in: “CTE is not real, parents should allow their children to play football. Oh, wait, it’s THAT football? This is dangerous and should be stopped.”

I want C-SPAN to start a new sports channel.