“The Fuhrman Diares”, as in, Mark... Fuhrman? The super racist cop from the OJ trial? Nazi-obsessed Mark Fuhrman? Mark “Alt Right Before It Was Cool” Fuhrman?

Mars is a garbage planet for toilet people and not a viable candidate for colonization due to its trash-tier surface gravity. Sure, it’s got that rocky surface the kids are all crazy for, but it’s also got an atmosphere so thin Durex is trying to figure out how to use it to market condoms and a magnetosphere that’s…

No, seriously, we’ve been defunded. It’s just you now.

That would mean the devastation is incredibly small; as in, no matter how small you say the devastation is, it’s even smaller than that. It cannot be understated.

A Trump-voting, pro-coal white guy who just lost an election wants to be the next president. Hard pass. This is so incredibly stupid.

For reference:

Nice choice of thumbnail. Way to frame this story like an AWESOME Michael Bay summer action blockbuster withh BIG MUSCLE MEN and TOTALLY RAD BOOM BOOM GUNS rather than the humanitarian crisis and horrifying tragedy it actually is.

Well, if she made all that shit herself, then I can think of at least a handful of places in Hollywood that would love to offer her gainful employment (assuming she doesn’t already work in the visual effects and film costuming industry).

I love how “Adult Height” is considered a convincing increase risk for several different types of cancer.

The Passage shares the same DNA as The Last of Us. If they do the books justice, this show could be a sleeper hit.

I see a pattern emerging. Obama sleeps in a bed; Trump orders whores to piss on it. Obama passes incredible healthcare legislation; Trump tries to dismantle it. Obama reaches landmark agreement with Iran; Trump rips it up. Obama enters into an important international climate change agreement; Trump pulls out almost…

What baffles me (I mean, beyond literally everything else about this fucked up story) is that they went through all this trouble. They’re white. They could have just called the cops, pointed to the two dead black men with a gun, and told the police that they were just defending themselves against these scary super…

Alternate headline:

Maybe there should be a some kind of disincentive for calling the cops for no god damn reason. This feels like SWATting; see a face you don’t like? Call the cops, tell them there’s a very scary black man who may have a WEAPON, and see what happens. Maybe when you needlessly put someone else’s life at risk, there…

TRIGGER WARNING: RANT

I don’t get the guy’s game plan at all. “Huh, someone left a less than perfect Yelp review; I know, I’ll just go to their home in the middle of the god damn night, angrily knock on their door, blow up their voice mail, and get this whole mess sorted.” Is this maybe some cultural misunderstanding that I’m not parsing…

I feel like Taylor Swift isn’t getting as much blame in all this as she deserves.

“He was allowed to do that after he assured deputies that he would keep them secure and away from Travis”

I don’t know about everyone else, but I count FIVE presidents in that picture.

It was a dark and stormy night when I finally cornered my wife’s killer. “Hashtag game over,” I shouted when suddenly, all hell broke loose.