Sarah Suckabee is an inbred classless hick who stuttered more than once during her few press briefings.

an internal investigation by the U.S Military Academy found that the students were playing “the circle game.” In this game a person holds a circle below their waist and they get to punch whoever notices.

A very long time ago, I had dinner with a friend at Le Louis XV in Monte Carlo (all I can say in my defense was that I was young, stupid, and didn’t realize the implications of credit card debt until much later). Of course, it was a magnificent meal, complete with waiters using pruning shears to cut the herbs for your…

It actually wasn’t me, as this was circa 1965 (I was born in ‘75) but a neighbor kid who was at least 6 at the time. The ‘rents sold the car shortly thereafter, because mom was pregnant and dad was like, we can keep the car or the kid but we can’t afford both. Sometimes I catch her looking at my older brother with…

My parents’ first child was a Porsche 356. One day, my dad came out to find a small child writing on a car with a rock. I have a feeling that now grown man is probably still in therapy. 

Or, as my multi-pet owning brother would say: Who peed in your water bowl?

I’m a SoCal native so ice cream at Christmastime was the usual. Which reminds me, I have to order my annual “yule log” from Baskin Robbins...

One of our vendors just brought a cheese plate and crackers to our office and I put an absolute beating on it.

The last straw for me was in the most recent catalog where they photographed 2 dolls playing ice hockey with the blade guards on.

2. An exclamation point.

I will never get tired of seeing that. 

My retinas are burning, and yet, this is perfection. 

Rose: Have I been a good wife?

This is the one pure truth left in this world. 

There’s really only one question that I have after 2+ years of this bullshit: Why? Why are there so many people who are willing to defend this ass clown and his abuse of power? Does he have kompromat on them? Are they in bed with him financially? Are they so afraid of what will happen if the conservative rich white…

As someone who’s done more than a fair amount of business travel, there are two rules for traveling with jewelry. The first: don’t travel with expensive jewelry. The second: if you do, insure your shit. This bitch didn’t do that, so that’s ALL on her.

That’s the key. I was floored to hear some old white MAGAt hag talk about how “classy” it was to have Melania as FLOTUS. Let’s see, we’ve got an Eastern European “model” with a portfolio of nudes vs. an Ivy League grad with her own successful law career and no nude pics. Then I remembered that for MAGAts, “classy”…

Now on SoundCloud, Dr. Dick in a Box!

Plus, he went to Catholic school and served in the Navy, two of the three cussing-est organizations in the world

Also, vaccinate your fucking kids Justin.