Felt like you done damn near threw your life away?

I wish Rhoda would’ve popped up behind the reporter like, “You late, honey! I love you!”

:”he last person to bring any new enthusiasm to the masses was a 187-year-old Socialist who sounded like the aardvark from the Pink Panther cartoons and never really claimed the party.”

“8lb. 6oz. baby Jesus. Just a little infant, and so cuddly, but so omnipotent...”

If I saw his child-molesting face in my church with the pastor personally handing off the mic, that’s the last service I’m attending at that church. That he’s even a viable candidate in this election with a chance to win (!) shows that this country is beyond repair.

Skeletanne looks like she belongs there.

(Unless you’re talking about a feisty neighbor who wants to heist a foreign sovereignty.)

6. Rolls, while tasty, are momentary and don’t travel as well as cornbread. I feel that they go better with the post-meal grazing, after emerging from your food coma, but before you take leave.

Hitachi? Don’t they make TV’s? Is this a new-fangled multipurpose remote? Just what I need for the holidays! Lemme Google....

Shut up and take my money!!!!!!

McPomme.

I starred this comment, and the number decreased. What does this mean?

She sent thoughts and prayers, though.

Don’t be ridiculous!

I’d invite him to the cookout, but I’d have him be the valet like Akeem and Semmi with the red jackets, or I’d give him a false later time so that he shows up toward the end as the crowd is thinning out, but there’d be just enough people there to observe his behavior and determine whether he should garner future…

Jason Hamhock, upon learning the news (probably was wearing his porkpie hat):

When I was in elementary school, the teacher would leave the room unattended (which was a common and acceptable practice in the 80s.....my, how times have changed), and that teacher would mostly place in charge the student who displayed the highest level of responsibility to take the names on the board of those who…

Michael Rapaport.

I work in a predominantly Black school. In the year since Tweet Loaf was elected, I’ve been having more informal conversations with my students, especially the boys. I’m very careful not to sway into respectability politics, because I want them to express their true selves. I deviate from my lesson to show them how to…

Don’t worry, Romo. Somebody’s got your back.