About five months after I graduated from college in 2012, I got a job as a reporter at a small paper in a small town. Fewer than 10,000 people. I've never lived or worked in a place this small, so it was kind of a culture shock. The newspaper has a really small staff too. Me, my boss, a secretary, the other reporter…

A couple of the strange (and gross) things I witnessed at the last magazine I worked at:

I was doing clinicals for my CNA training when this happened, so not necessarily a job, but close enough.

I spent the last year teaching English in a small rural town in China and I have quite a few funny stories from that time. I think my favourite is the time I saved my boss's life. My boss was this midlevel bureaucrat named Mr. Gu who owned this private school on the side. It offered weekend and after-school classes…

At my last job they decided to reseal the tar roof during work hours. The building was huge so this went on for over a week. They acted like we were being babies complaining about the smell. Then hot tar started dripping on my desk, and through a light fixture near the printer (where I also happened to be standing).…

I work with teenagers. These are actual things that I have had to say in the last 7 weeks:

Worked for a very Mormon attorney who had seven children and a devoted wife, as well as a habit of watching porn all day at work with his door open. One day he must have accidentally unplugged his headphones, and myself and another paralegal were treated to the sound of a woman loudly climaxing. She looked at me…

I worked at one place where it was made clear to me, numerous times, that dressing up in costume for Halloween was a big deal for the owner and it was really encouraged. It wasn't required, but it sort of was.

Awww yis. Stoked for this

I'm pretty sure I've shared this before, but the office manager at my first office job used to take bites out of people's lunches. Like, she would open the lunch bag, take out the sandwich, take a bite and then put it back. She got caught a million times and gave zero fucks.

I shall now tell the story of the Penny Killer.

Christmas Eve, 4 pm. It's about one hour until close and I've been working the register all day.

A woman comes up to the counter. She wants to purchase a suit and a dress, and she wants them hung up. Okay, fine, whatever.

I start ringing up her purchase, scanning the clothes and taking them off the hangers. The woman…

I once worked at a pizza shop at a Colorado ski resort. There was a manager there who was pretty useless and had a serious power complex. One day, he was sending me home early. He said, "You can go home, Megan," and patted my ass twice.

What do you want to hear about first?

Oh actually, here's a decent one. I had broken up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago, and the organization's Executive Director was in town because it was our new Deputy Director's first day on the job. I hadn't had much face time with the ED before and was obviously trying to impress this new guy. We were all going…

Hearing from a co-worker about how she's using the bathroom on our floor to have nooners with the colleague she's reporting to while her boss is on sabbatical? Meh.

Retail. Man comes into the store where I was working. Acts a little strange and shifty. I forget about him, because I have ordering to do. When I finished, I go to the back of the store to put some items away. Strange and shifty was on the floor with his pants pulled down. He was sucking his own penis.

When I was in college, I interned for a major Hollywood producer during award season. Jesus fucking Christ. It was like The Devil Wears Prada on steroids. Expense reports had to be filed in a very particular way as to not reveal how much money was going to basically buying voters off. The producer was sleeping with at…

I lived and worked in Korea for a couple of years, and this married couple owned the company I worked for and mandated a "Sports Day" in the Spring every year for some wack form of team-building. I had been there for just a couple of weeks when I was forced to participate in this "Sports Day" on a SATURDAY with NO…

Our boss worked with his ex-wife. Both of them were insufferable, but he was probably worse. He constantly interrupted her and belittled her in meetings. Well, one day she got into an argument with him in her office and there was shouting and some sounds that were difficult to make out.