No, I'm dead serious. What are the strides we've made since 1994 that are the issue here? How specifically is an internet article mocking a product that seeks to shame women for the natural way their body looks affecting our progress?

But if you can throw 'em o'er your shoulder like a Continental soldier, you're way beyond Cuchini.

Out of curiosity, what amazing advances do you think we've made since 1994 that this is really rolling back?

Two suggestions for the Game of Crowns ass waffles: 1.) sew your lips shut, 2.) sew your lips shut.

E'nuff muff?

Ohhhh, 'Camelflage!'

Do your labia hang low? Do they wobble to and 'fro? Can you tie 'em in a knot, can you tie 'em in a bow?

I don't care what you say, Cuchini is the only possible name for this product.

She's going to have a record...for stealing THAT dress...SMH.

What hath Katy Perry wrought upon us.

I think someone else nailed it when they said that the dress looks like a leopard had rolled around in a box of fruity pebbles. Or did they say fruit loops? In any event, I think the fruity pebbles description is better.

The store owner is the one who should be arrested. That dress is a far more grievous crime than mere thievery.

This is why we can't have nice fucking things. Manicured perfect, cookie-cutter lawns are fucking ugly resource wasters. Also, air conditioning, I fucking hate air conditioning. I have to carry a sweater like a goddamn grandma around with me because everyone thinks that any temperature above 70 is inhospitably…

Did we read the same article? You've obviously come in with an agenda. Good luck with that.

And she was holding onto his leg and preventing him from moving. Fight/flight/freeze shit happens when someone grabs your leg and your crotch. Not fun to see him hit her, but physical reactions to sexual assault happen and it's not fun to see her grab his crotch and hold his leg either.

MTE as painful as it is to see a woman slapped, just no. She assaulted him and she had it coming.

I give Tim McGraw a pass, because if someone reached up and grabbed — or even tried to grab — my crotch-area I would do way worse than slap them. Instinctually.

My vote is- if someone smacks you in the genitals, you have a free pass. I didn't watch the video though, because I was worried I might be subjected to Tim McGraw's music.

Please don't forget to light at least one backwards. Mmmmm filter-stench!!

I've still never, ever gotten past the time Biggs and his wife Jenny Mollen: