I want my name to be spaghetti

All I can say is that Angie and Katherine have some of the most annoying laughs I’ve ever heard.

Sounds about right.

Also, all I could think of once I got to “bozos”:

Don’t judge. He’s just killing time counting attendance.

Barney made 11 consecutive dog days before he got too old to climb the stairs last year.

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I find it incredibly depressing that we have to tell guys that it’s not okay to have sex with a woman unless she says it’s okay.

Look! It’s Enrico Pallazzo!

Poor take. You can have issues with the government but still respect the country

Lol sweet straw man Timmy. Really knocked it out of the park there!

investigating a crime that most likely didn’t happen

LAWYER: You can never go back to Brazil.
Lochte: Man, but I really enjoyed Europe!

As an Olympic swimmer, Lochte has called the experience, “The second most painful Brazilian of my life,”

Pay him no mind, he’s just salty because we own the moon, and he lives in a country that has flying poisonous crocodiles and no moon ownership.

+1 triceratops on Noah’s ark

“That toughness comes in handy in a place like North Dakota. You see, up there, jamming your numb fingers against someone’s ice-cold helmet happens every practice. Getting decked on the cement-like dirt is just how a play ends.

When gymnastics go awry

You’ll want to mute the video IMMEDIATELY

What a monolith of fan-spewed negativity; thank God there are some Giants fans left brimming with optimism and perspective.

*insert Benny Hill theme here*