...Zod.

Why do you say this to me, when you know I will kill you for it?

It’s also got the fantastic “General Zod, would you care to step outside?” line.

Is there somewhere we can read these testimony transcripts in full? I’d like to print one out and mail one to Larry Nassar every goddamn day for the rest of his miserable shitstain of a life.

“Wait, we can swear?” - the previous 157 victims

Every quarter.

“Brooks Orpik partial breakaway” should have been your first sign that we were in the mirror universe.

Non story. The only reason she was spotted under a highway underpass was simply because she was trying to get an interview with Johnny Manziel.

Well, I can sympathize with her. As a donor, she is absolutely entitled to give her money to folks who uphold her values. I’d be more dubious of her motives if she hadn’t withdrawn her support from Barack Obama over his inactivity on the climate crisis. This irked me, too. I hope I’m not at risk of having my…

trumps going to disown Eric, adopt Stephen, marry Ivanka, kill Jared and fuck Bannon.

Stephen Dorff AKA Deacon Frost AKA Marvel’s Sexiest Movie Villain™

Belichick: Okay, what’s this formation?

You’re overthinking this. Just play the national anthem.

You are such a fucking asshole.

Not even Judge Dredd?

Yeah, but he was a Cardinal, so no doubt he covered it up The Right Way.

Well, that... or elect him as the junior senator from Alabama

I hope he makes a recovery like Kevin Everett

I use the word ass instead, because it’s what I like.