Why NFL Free Agent Chris Kluwe Sucks, By Deadspin's Fourth Worst Deadspinner Ever

How far can you punt a football? Asking for a friend. (He's an NFL GM.)
...
(He's laughing.)
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(He's calling all his GM buddies.)
...
(They're laughing.)
...
(They're still laughing.)
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(They're watching tapes of you punting a football and puking from laughing.)
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(They're deciding which one is gonna call you and pretend to…

Q: What's black and white and read all over?

Wow so much for the First Amendment I guess. Lucky for them that the Separation of Church and State doctrine doesn't apply here, it's a jew temple.

That poor freshman. He had no idea what he was in for when the coach told him that he'd have to ride the pine for awhile.

This is why I'll never send my kids to curling camp.

Lets pray these privileged kids don't find an effective method to sweep these horrendous charges under the rug.

OK, thanks. Can I ask you one other question?

Not only is inmate# W18C: Toilet, Unisex, an ingenious photo-bomber, but also seems to be a proud Hawkeye supporter.

So Marte accepted it (presumably in exchange for something nice)

"There's nothing the least bit notable about the play."

The good news is that Matt Leinart will never have a concussion problem for essentially the same reason that R.A. Dickey will never have Tommy John surgery.

Look at the bright side, Roy: between your skin color and the parameters of your confinement, you'll be the only thing to survive a crash.

[Googles "Cardinals kicking fail" for the 4,121nd straight morning]

I'll bet he did it with a single shot.

Man this is so sad, does everything involving the NBA have to be decided in advance?

The IOC has issued this helpful list of steps you can take to make your voice heard on this issue:

Here's a rendering of the new Grandstand, with Arthur Ashe in the background

"Happy Birthday Tim!"