30 Days of Night would be happy to speak with you.

But how the vampires intend to deal with the Southern California sunshine is, initially, a big part of this story, although they never go any place with it, since too much plot gets in the way of action and jokes.

The vampire hunters in the movie work as pool cleaners, stereo installers and pawn brokers, and the equivalent of the big assassins league from John Wick is called the Union and is run out of a wood-paneled union hall that looks like it hasn’t had an upgrade since 1974. The heroes all drive pick-up trucks and they…

No love for the fantastic soundtrack? Weirdly, Netflix hasn’t released it as an album yet (just the score), but having Snoop on the film apparently convinced someone the soundtrack should be amazing (other than one brief use of Nickelback).

This is a pretty lightweight film, even for vampire comedy-horrors, but the…

Very much the same energy, especially late in the film.

Mickey Rourke plays private dick Harry Angel, under contract from Robert De Niro’s Louis Cypher to track down an iconic singer who has disappeared. Not only do Angel’s leads keep turning up dead, but he crosses paths with Epiphany Proudfoot (Lisa Bonet), daughter of the singer, with whom he has enjoys some…

Independent of its sexiness, No Way Out, which went to the trouble of actually filming in DC, then decided to invent a Metro station in Georgetown instead of, you know, moving the action a few blocks.

That attitude of “eh, good enough” permeates the whole film, unfortunately.

It pains me to write a back-to-school article—didn’t summer just start?

Someone thousands of years old getting horny for someone who won’t even live a century feels like a human wanting to fuck a fruit fly.

So expect some Doctor-on-Doctor action

Oh, I don’t think anyone should be shamed, and maybe three isn’t the magic number, but at some point, the possibility has to be raised that maybe some folks, in their current states, aren’t good fits for marriage.

Zaslav promises to not pull the football away this time.

She’ll be cast as White Tiger before the year is out, probably with a one episode appearance in Daredevil.

He’s right to trust it: Testing is why Hollywood only releases massive hit movies and television shows nowadays.

I feel like once you get past your second divorce, the courts need to ask “are you sure” when you try to get married again.

So, we’re not going to talk about how her powers aren’t the same as they are in the comics? Hell, they go whole seasons without showing she has superpowers at all.

I can imagine 1,000 years ago, you’d be a bandit living in a bush on the side of the road, clubbing passersby over the head with rocks.

Imagination! It can do anything!

Voting for the primetime Emmys ends in August, so yes, this is almost certainly an unofficial For Your Consideration campaign by Stiller and the rest of the production team.

I also have no problems with awesome scenarios that will never actually come to pass.

This isn’t a DC vs MCU question. WB has to stick to just fucking up one comic book universe at a time.

Can we talk about how weird it is that this Flash runs around in a suit of ill-fitting armor? Who thought that was a good idea?