OK, but does she kiss Anne Bonney?

I am intensely curious what it is you thought this would be about and how long it took you to realize it wasn’t. And then why you felt the need to comment on it.

I have two immediate biases I must disclose before getting into this sugary-sweet taste test. The first: I do not like cream-filled doughnuts, and all three of these doughnuts are cream-filled. Secondly, I have never been a big fan of the classic Orange Creamsicle ice cream truck treat; in case you missed it, the…

True, but when you have a billion-dollar IP, you normally want to maximize its value, not ... whatever the hell they think they’re doing with Indiana Jones 5.

They were in love, you kink-shamer.

FINALLY, a use for the Severance procedure!

We would never make Indiana Jones without Harrison Ford.

Boston, what are you gonna do?

Worth it.

I think there’s only way to get to the bottom of this:

We’re going to have to shave Gizmo.

What percentage of Disney stock do I need to purchase to get them to quit doing these fucking things?

He’s in the new Dungeons & Dragons movie, which is having its big moment in Hall H at Comic-Con in a few weeks. (Hall H suggests a lot of student optimism and support.)

But yes, he is in a precarious stage of his career, which is probably why he doesn’t want to be stuck hanging around the Bridgerton set so he can…

I think he’s counting on the D&D movie being a bit hit and having other opportunities.

He has a pretty narrow window to be more than the Bridgerton guy -- look how few people from Grey’s Anatomy, for instance, ever got big roles after that show, other than Sandra Oh -- and doesn’t want to be solely identified with it.

Give me the Marvel EIC job and I’ll make all Inhumans into mutants, and just say it was the mist that triggered the appearance of their mutant abilities.

They weren’t playing the Inhumans theme when they said that line.

is it cool to drag what was clearly a singular vision out indefinitely?

They didn’t have good soap in that orphanage, you monster.

Are these folks and Rob Zombie in some sort of contest to put out the shittiest trailer today?

What the hell.

If nothing else, this photo will follow you the rest of your life and when you die, having testified in this trial, the news will cover it and this photo will again be used to permanently commemorate you.

Your kids, grandkids and history will know you best by what you chose to wear this day. (You might even be in your…

I have been in court with a defendant who had a face tattoo that read “death to my enemies.” His public defendant must have wept the first time they met.