West Ham .... attractive football.....MIND BLOWN.

That’s an oddball collection of teams you’ve got there.

“The pain is the job.”

“I looked around the room and everyone had their heads down. And I said no.”

I also base my social awareness on reality shows. Like, have you ever noticed that every group of people contains exactly one gay guy? Weird.

I’ve never understood the “gender is a construct” thing. If gender is a construct, counseling could reverse it. People wouldn't be irreversibly in the wrong body and need transition to finally feel in sync.

In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, “Au revoir, Go-pher.”

If The Daily Show had any effect on our actual political culture, it was probably to the benefit of conservatives. In its absence, many young liberals might have confronted the George W. Bush years and engaged in actual political projects, like the campus left of the 1960s.

I’m amazed — AMAZED — the author uses three names to identify himself.

*Sees disabled homeless veteran on side of the road begging for spare change*

“Fuck you, I work hard for my money”

*Sees pile of Canadian garbage with Smiley Face drawn on it*

“Can people, out of the charity of their heart, help the least of us along our path in life?”

“YES!” — Stephen A. Smith

- “the United States is not a receptacle for twee Canadian garbage”

THIS. The only way this story could’ve been more insufferable is if somebody made a “500 Days of HitchBOT” series out of it.

I mean it says “...or BUST!” right on its face. It was literally asking for it.

He’s an Eagles fan - he’s already dead inside.

Pretty sure it was a guy sent from the future to stop the revolution.

I haven’t seen anyone struggle this much to get past Panama since 1914.

How the hell is an American women’s basketball team losing to Cuba by 12 points? That would be like Vietnam defeating the United States in a ground war.