Can you edit the title to read:

Bruins could use a guy like Seguin but they’re hard to come by.

They call that move the Stop Resisting because before you know what the fuck is going on a cop starts taking shots and you’re dead.

We offered to cover them up or change,

Does the ball spin the other way, too?

I don’t blame her. It’s probably hard as hell to hit a tennis ball while upside down.

He is doing a great thing for the community, how dare you try to bad mouth him donating his own money to help people

He led an offense that scored 48 points. I think he held up his end of the deal, in spite of your SEC defense.

“a taste of the defense we play in the SEC”?

Due to poor clock management most of Scandinavia won’t get their presents until the 27th.

Reminds me of Philly’s magnum opus:

Gotta figure his face is numb after a hit like that. He should take the Weeknd off.

So, uh...what would you have expected them to use?

I hate to tell you, Emma, but Heath Evans is a goldurn Christian.

Wiley Wentz Waylaid. Walloped Wickedly, Waywardly Waddles Wantonly. Withdrawn.

He went from “always injured and what’s the big deal anyway?” to, what, the third best SG in the league? And that’s only if we’re still counting Harden as a 2?

Favourite vegetable patty? The Indian spiced chickpea patty at Trader Joes.

Man, tetherball brings back memories. Mostly of the dumb kid that got all our sets at school taken down by running through a game and nearly hanging himself.