Isn’t island prison... Australia?

I just. I’m a student at Phillips Academy, and I’ve been a reader of Jezebel for even longer. Though I’m just a lurker, I’ve always really appreciated Jezebel and it’s community. But seeing these comments (this isn’t really pointed at you, I’m just replying to yours because that’s easiest), I’m really frustrated.…

At first glance I thought he had two heaping portions of guacamole on his plate and I was very confused.

FAKE NEWS! MY GIRLFRIEND FARTS IN FRONT OF ME AND I STILL WANNA BANG!

“I’m a football player.”

Thanks to whoever included Wales there for comparison, I totally know how big Wales is ;)

If an ice cube the size of Delaware starts floating down our way, the only thing to do is get a tumbler of whiskey the size of Pennsylvania.

I say we eliminate all penalties in hockey, then we’ll see who the REAL MEN are! Go back to the days when they didn’t wear helmets too. Only the strong survive! Sure you might have local TV weatherman Rick in goal by the end of the playoffs due to injuries, but it would be REAL hockey!

See, we’re not racist. Some of our best players are black.

MVP bench celebration by Olynyk on that and-1.

You know the correct answer is “waffles.”

Announcer: “Nobody in the NHL wants to see this”

A cube of cheese is a very Minnesota sort of solution, don’t-cha know.

You know, I spend all this time Photoshopping dildos into their hands and fucking Kinja won’t let me upload the image.

I give the Hollister twins about two days worth of exposure to Gronk before they’re Eiffel Towering a hooker named “Esmerelda” in Dorchester.

That’s not a joke, either:

Fits Alfa Romeo, Ducati, Ferrari, Fiat, Lamborghini and Yugo.

Cheese = jucy lucy

I’m not sure what they put on the exterior - if it’s a rain screen system or not - but if it is, those systems can be buggers for a while after install because they function on a net zero (as I’ve always called it) pressure system and sometimes the design and install can be a bit funky, particularly when the square…