Most publications had big displays about Lebron, with huge photographs and headlines. We wanted the simplest, crudest possible representation of what happened."

Obviously, the biggest difference between LeBron and Kim here is that the latter never went back.

We are fans of unrealized uniform concepts

The rock band Chicago once sang, "Does anybody really know what time it is?" For 82 people in Chicago over the holiday weekend, it was time to get shot

"So much depends on a red wheelbarrow," William Carlos Williams famously wrote. Well, that might be true some places, but in Chicago 82 people didn't much care for red wheelbarrows, I'm guessing. You know why? Because they got shot.

Kinjasucks69420 once wrote "stick to sports, fags," but if he were from Chicago, he might be sticking to the pavement, shot down in the prime of his commenting career.

If your ex-girlfriend made you sit through the 2006 Jennifer Aniston/Vince Vaughn romantic comedy "The Break Up," which was set in Chicago, you probably left the theater with the urge to kill. Unfortunately, 16 Chicagoans were on the wrong end of that urge last weekend.

There were 82 private screenings of "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" last weekend in Chicago. For 16 viewers, the price of admission was sadly their life.

In The Untouchables, Sean Connery's character famously said, "He pulls out a knife, you pull out a gun. That's the Chicago way." By that math, 82 people pulled out knives over the July 4th weekend.

They say journalistic integrity is dead in America these days. If that's the case, then journalistic integrity must have visited Chicago over the July 4th Weekend.

Hey, since we're on the topic of Northeast Ohio, let me ask you about something I've always wondered. In Northeast Ohio, do they just straight-up give stuff away all the time?

The most ridiculous thing about the lesser, Nike-approved version of this advertisement was that it had Spike Lee, Rudy Giuliani, Jay-Z, and Billy Crystal all doffing their caps in addition to the usual assortment of zany yet resolute and stoic blue-collar New Yorkers, suggesting that even to our most sophisticated…

More like RE463PECT, tbh.

I think the real trophy is the outstanding education each and every one of these student-athletes earn at their respective NCAA® institution of higher learning.

I see they are listed in order of ability to make free-agency decisions in a timely fashion

The ref kissing the ball at the beginning let us know the fix was in. The plot to spread mono to all the players.

You're a class a idiot. It's the World Cup. It's the equivalent of the Olympics. Soccer hasn't come close to "making it." You'd probably get as many people angry if you cut into a rerun of Judging Amy. As always, a lazy Deadspin writer comes to a lazy conclusion.

All these viewers in DMA market #174 pissed off that they're missing the end of a soccer match. If that's not proof the sport has "made it" in America, I don't know what is.

FUN FACT: The Chicago Cubs themselves are also a "funny little insight into the lunacy of sports fandom"