Sadly, as the months turned into years and the years turned into decades, Jack found out the hard way that he was neither as nimble nor as quick as he had once been.

Even more egregious was that Williams was signalling to swing away.

Well that's different. Usually Nationals' managers are involved in train wrecks.

The victims' last words, according to neighbors, were "oooooooh.....ahhhhhhh"

I don't understand why he just didn't get an avatar and screen name. Kinja isn't that hard to sign into.

Three? That's still a tragedy, but not as horrible as the earlier report of 40.

Fire Investigator: We're so sorry, Mr. Blake, but all your possessions were lost in the fire. I know it's tough knowing that irreplaceable things, like your Grand Slam trophies, are gone forever.

What kind of sick, twisted motherfucker would do something like this? Literally could have picked any other town to rent in.

Game. Set. Matches.

Seems more fitting now than ever that Blake's tennis hero is Arthur Ash.

More like "Slim Weeper," amirite?!?!

Dad: Well maybe if you let me wear a glove I wouldn't have made that mistake!

Yesterday was actually Seth Smith bobblehead day at Petco park. That's just a lovely souvenir.

I've seen a lot of messed up stuff on the internet. I've seen dead bodies, Budd Dwyer's suicide video, and all varieties of graphic, horrifying pornography. But this is something else entirely. This is a truly reprehensible act. That kid is going to grow up to be a Padres fan and we're all powerless to stop it.

Who's the real racist? Certainly not i.

Lo Lo Jones seems to be a real racist, but she isn't very good at it.

"This is possibly the most redundant question yet. I feel like we're in that movie Conception."

Does this remind anyone else of the time Sammy Sosa sneezed really hard and accidentally circumcised himself?

That's what you get for hot dogging it.