As soon as someone started telling me that their interior design was based on the angst of an indie film I’m pulling the ol’ Abe Simpson exit.

There’s only one doggo in my heart though.

Please provide a scientific source for your ridiculous claim about their “genetic defect”. And also go fuck yourself. 

I had to look this up. Hyperion. So Disney, Michael Eisner, Meghan McCain, Hachette, Wenner Media...that must have been an interesting time.

One of the most aggressively irrelevant people I’ve ever met. When she “wrote” a book, she came to speak at the monthly meeting of the publisher I used to work for. Staff asked her what her goals were, what her ambitions were, whether she planned to follow in her father’s footsteps and run for office. She sat there,…

“That girl could go home,” Ryan recalls his mom saying, “slit the whole side of her cheek with a knife, and come to school Monday and say, ‘Hey, look what he did to me.’”

Ariana’s tattoo reminds me of a book im reading.

Fuck offffffff

“Come on sonny, give him a good ol’ handsy!”

You know who I’m guessing Singer does not have blackmailable dirt on? The police. Maybe they could look into this.

I would love a gender-reveal lasagna that is red. The baby’s gender could be something like “crack the seventh seal and unloose the sea of blood upon the world.”

What you see here hinges on whether you believe that “Make America Great Again” is a dog whistle meant to unite racists, misogynists, and homophobes under one umbrella, or you’re delusional and don’t care about people who aren’t white men.

Was hoping she was against it simply because they were pushing bottled water — which is evil.

I work at a not for profit that relies on a resale shop to fund most of our programs. We are absolutely fucking THRILLED about this.

The victims are the local Bahamians (?), contractors, and employees who got roped into this. Many working 20 hour days leading up to the “event” and cleaning up afterwards.

Agreed, for the most part, although I’m the type to treat all my pets like family. They all have the “end of the line” plan, the points that tell me it’s time whether I want to believe it or not. My old girl is turning 21 this year and (knock on wood) is still going strong.

But yeah, depending on the breed, you can be…

Girth > length. 

His teeth certainly are.

Rainier cherries would be the absolute top of my list if they weren’t roughly the same cost per ounce as fucking palladium where I live. I treat myself to a small bag of them *maybe* once every other year.

Time of year is highly important. Cool, ripe watermelon on a hot summer day is the fucking tits.