I believe that’s his real penis with some caveats.

Neighborhood hero.

I think about the juxtaposition of our romantic love as we architect our opportunity cost of shared living. My dearest Jared, albeit, you are the flawless manikin to actualize the brand of my heart. I look forward to otherwise consolidating our togetherness for another centennial.

Maxipads go on cunts, so this checks out.

Jared, I love your complete inability to express emotion or feel physical pain.

You inspire me with your calm, stoic disposition and unwavering prioritization of that which matters most in life.

And I’m not sure what the point was in him sharing it?

This article doesn’t even touch on why the creation of the labradoodle was a problem aside from the usual “they’re being bred by people just in it for the money” issue of dog breeding.

Once? Once? In which paradise livest thou?

I usually find it easier to sacrifice a sock to the gods of hygiene, then flush it to punish the venue for failing to supply paper.

You’re “shook”.  That’s what all the cool kids are saying these days.  You want to be a cool kid, don’t you?  DON’T YOU!?!?!?!

I suspect that #2 is your answer to both of the other questions as well. She either couldn’t get surgery, or the surgery went badly and exacerbated her condition. She got desperate, probably because sex was unpleasant or painful for her and it was causing strain on her marriage because her husband was shitty and…

Giving healthcare to illegal immigrants is voter kryptonite. The writers so far up each others echo-chamber butts that they have no sense of what most people in this country want or don’t want. Trump sucks but Jesus, going full Socialist is a dead-end street.

Sometimes the writers here come off as living in a bubble. 

After the NVXIUM, or however it’s spelled, scandal broke, I read an article where a psychologist says everyone is vulnerable to scams and cults because of our need to belong. It’s just a matter of which one you would fall for.

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be the guy that doesn’t know that everyone is laughing at him. But it was always only ever a wonder, not a wish.

“...my biggest fear is ABC giving McCain her own show”

Here in Oklahoma, it’s hot, humid, and hella windy.

This is false. Under is plan around 600 vacant and abandoned houses were demolished and around 400 houses were repaired. No resident of these neighborhoods were pushed out of their houses. Homes are very affordable in South Bend. Too affordable even ($30,000 -$40,000 for some and mansions cost like $80,000). Banks…

I had actually forgotten about this sketch, I mainly remembered her for “Vital Information.” But trying to paint it as feminist is...a stretch.