Well, this will be a black eye on the organization

“Episodes I-III > Episodes IV-VI.” - Mike Evans

I have had this phantom pain in my crotch just reading this list!

His exact reaction to weird wire attraction was painful erection extraction action.

*incoherent rage noise*

Dibs on “CONTUSION PENIS” for my next band name.

• STUCK A WIRE INTO PENIS AND CUT TIP OF PENIS OPEN W/SCISSORS TRYING TO REMOVE IT

Jezebel staff communicating:

Please keep this alive. It is the thing that has brought me the most joy this season.

If you had dab’d, you could’ve avoided the tomato

I believe this is a reference to ‘dab zombies’ which is a term used to describe new-age stoners that smoke only the highest quality marijuana concentrates, or ‘dabs’.

“the dab is dead. It has been dead for a month. These are zombie dabs”

The Panthers will react better after their next loss. Third time’s a charm!

Nice to see that Abe Zapruder got back into filmmaking.

That pass is even more incredible from this angle:

Jesus is the only one who can perform miracles, like having a perfect 15-1 season.

WOW. I bow to you. WOW.