I know people complain when someone expresses a far-fetched contrarian viewpoint on Jezebel posts, but I was thinking about the subject of food theft in relation to the really annoying weirdos who steal your lunch, or sometimes rifle through your lunch and take only the Nigella Nainamo bar, at school or the office ...…

It is impossible to live in America in 2014 and not have some sort of subconscious racial bias. Even if you know you have a bias, and that it's wrong to have a bias, it can be really hard to erase completely. We're all inundated with these cultural messages from childhood, some of that shit is going to stick no matter…

There is so much wrong with this article, where do I begin? First, it assumes that white people who exclusively date other white people are unfairly denying Black and Asian people something important; as if the chance to have a white lover is prize that people of color are fighting for. Secondly, you're subjecting…

Not to downplay the fact that actual racism and white-centric socialized standards of attractiveness probably play into this, but dating — particularly when you are looking for a life partner — is a little different than interacting with a stranger, hiring someone for a job, or even becoming friends. Most people,…

Related words of wisdom from the great minds at People:

No, you don't understand. Their pictures are ACTUALLY being kept in a cloud! It's like in Hunger Games, when they display the fallen tributes in the sky each night. Just look up for boobies!

We ARE talking about an industry that routinely reduces women to the sum of their body parts, and is chiefly responsible for reinforcing every negative stereotype associated with Black Americans; Liberal-Ass Hollywood, HA!

Working class people are inferior human beings. If they weren't, they would be middle class.

Right? And people feel sorry for us? Love and commitment and security are great and everything, but we're the ones who get to pee with the door open!

YEAH SINGLE PEOPLE FOR THE WIN!!*

Look on the bright side; Statistically, neither can anybody else.

At least it was only four months wasted. I spent 4.5 years on one guy, 2 on another - both of whom chose the most asshole ways to end it.

I'd be interested to see how the numbers change if you include the option "single but cohabiting with a partner." I will grant you marriage is a whole different-if-related kettle of fish, but looking around me, I see very few truly single people (as in, either not seeing someone seriously or not living with someone)…

It's those damned feminists, I tell ya. Teaching women not to put up with bullshit and how to get lost jewelry out of the P-trap. The family structure is doomed. DOOMED.

In a related story parents of singles hurling passive aggressive thinly veiled jibes bout lack of grandchildren have gone up 300%

To be fair, you are, at most, 50th cousins with everyone else on Earth.

but what if your 30th cousin is a doctor?

Apples & Dildos is my new band name.

This headline is so misleading. She wasn't making love to a motorcycle, she was making love to her fingers on a motorcycle. Apples and dildos, Mark.