I am going to learn to cross stitch and I am going to create a "bitterness is like Citronella for vaginas" banner and give it to all of my friends.

I know it's hard, but try not to focus on getting back together with your ex. It sounds like you have lots of other stuff to fill your time, like staying well, going to school, and spending time with friends/family. I think you should just do you for now and not worry about one guy.

Yes, and the punishment for a little blasphemy is a gentle braising for all eternity...

Of all the iterations of Paula Deen being photoshopped riding various things, this is my favorite. Ride away into the Cosmos on the Great Space Rooster, you racist chef you!

I plan to go the opposite way and Gay Away the Pray, thanks.

I always assumed the Founding Fathers wrote the U.S. Constitution et al. But now I know they prayed it into being.

And lo, everyone screamed, "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my Gooooood!" and it was good.

He is my mortal enemy and I will battle him with every fiber of my being.

A couple years ago I was out for dinner in a really nice restaurant and there was a couple at the next table with a toddler (only kid in the entire place, its not exactly a "family restaurant.") Now I have no issue with people bringing their kids out for dinner, but when you allow your four/five year old monster to…

Stop trying to make "betch" happen.

♪ Fornicaaaayyyyyshuuuuun, gettin' it on ♪

I did us all the favor of clicking that link. It did not look pleasant.

HEY that's the same woman in the stock photo for the article about how cunnilingus is just an evolutionary fidelity-trap.

What sickens me to the point of tears is that Rick Perry hasn't even bothered to learn who, exactly, he's oppressing with this bill.

Charles Manson was also born to a teenage (16) mother. I guess it's unfortunate we didn't learn from that example.

It's like she had a choice or something.

"The woman" — Perry doesn't even respect a state senator enough to use her name.