My mom called me last night to talk to me about the shoot. Unbeknownst to her, she played a small part in this travesty. She is a member of the Virginia Woolf Society, and a Vice staff member contacted her to ask some questions about how Woolf died. My mother gave the writer quite a lot of info, dispelled some of the…

("The poison I put in their water is working faster than I thought!")

[And what do you two have that I don't already own?]

Wait. You mean a medical and fact-based approach to sex and sex education has a positive impact on health??!!!

OMG!! YOU FUCKING NEW YORK CITY ELEPHANT RAT SIZED BASTARDS!!! DO YOU BASTARDS NOT REALIZE THAT IT IS FAT PEOPLE THAT CREATE HURRICANES AS PUBLICLY ANNOUNCED IN THE LEGENDARY PREMIERE ISSUE OF ONE "FAT ZINE"!?

Rule #1 when I leave the house to go a'sexin' is "Remove All Visible Feces".

"Feminist women and men will try to ban or burn this book!"

YES.

I completely understand it. As a well educated black male, I'm coming for their jobs, their money, their houses their neighborhoods, their houses, their dogs, their cats, their grandmothers' cats, their birthday cake, 2.5 of their white daughters AND the last purely white sport (on a croquet scholarship). Muah…

For potato crime, there is only Potato Judge, and his verdict is GEEEEEELLLLLTTYY!!!

I really think George Carlin nailed the whole antiabortion conservative philosophy when he said:

Except that while minority births surpassed white births for the first time, minority birth rates are declining.

The most delicious irony in all of this, is that the reasons minority women are outpacing white women in birth rates is because of their very own Republican led policies that attempt to block access to birth control and sex education to the people who need it most: The poor. And since the poor are disproportionately…

Half the time I think these people terrified of becoming a minority are terrified because they know how terribly they treat minorities and don't want it coming back on them.

although you wouldn't know it if you've ever attended Coachella or if you currently live in Park Slope, Brooklyn

You have no idea.

Adult cats, you say?

Well, he might have lost the leg, but at least we're winning the Battle of the Bulge.