I vomited and shit my pants at the same time in 2nd grade, in the classroom, while we were playing Heads Up 7Up.

My first period after Nuvaring I noticed something dangling from my vag. Naturally I pulled on it. Out came what I assume was a chunk of the lining of my uterus.

I respect that even though he’s a dude, Barry knew to use the universal gif for “PERIODS ARE THE WORST” as the lede image.

I lost basically all of my blood out of my back end a couple years ago. Sat on the toilet one morning and woke up on the floor with a large knot on my forehead and a trail of blood behind me. I continued to bleed in the hospital and ended up needing a double bowel resection. I received 16 pints of blood during that…

I feel like I can’t compete with the writer’s story, but for me it was a period/virus combo. I had clots the size of guinea pigs dropping out of my vagina as I sat shaking on the toilet shitting my brains out while throwing up into a trashcan.

The “getting hit by” problem could’ve easily been solved with “Bean.”

If you woke up after noon, nobody gives a fuck if you are confused.

Wow, you got them all right, in the correct order, the first time! Deadspin writers always fail at that.

Murder eyes and hissing make sex better imo

I know this isn’t a contest between Jezebel and Deadspin, but...you all are winning.

I literally searched “jock jams” and somehow this turned up.

So this is what the Deadspin staff talk about all day...

And their name is Sunny Jo? And they are a man who goes by that name?!

Uh oh. I accidentally saw an email last night that my cat sent to this photgrapher setting up a special photography session with his wonderful owner NEXT WEEK.

Hate starred for snort laugh and immediate shame.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and suspect that ANY sex with Rhianna is incredible sex...

I have with an Ex and FYI it feels exactly like these:

It disparages Ted Cruz AND it benefits women who need abortion services? Dammit, why do I miss all the good stuff?! It’s like high school all over again.

Stop Tyler the creator, stopppp.