I had to read a couple hundred words to find out this guy was speechless.

I really wish the government would get out of sports by not forcing the Redskins to change their name, but also stay involved in sports by keeping gay people out.

Fortunately for Leonard, he isn't the only person on that cover who didn't make it.

I dunno. It's pretty accurate to me. I can't find Dwayne Wade anywhere, just like during the Finals.

Chris Anderson has had a lot worse things to try to explain.

Actually a deadspin IS what happens.

Team Alpha Male

The first rule of Skydiving Fight Club is no ground and pound.

Houston: Good news, bad news, Mike. We don't have a job for you here, but you've won the uniform design contest.

Braun: [Receives shot in the ass]

"Many Poles, No Vaults" is also the motto of the Polish National Bank.

It's good to know that Hernandez is likely staying positive.

I was once on an escalator going down to a DC Metro station when some guy slid by me and a pack of people on the hand rail, and said "Out of the way bitches" as he passed. When I got to the bottom of the escalator the dude had his shin bone poking out of his leg. That was satisfying.

Why do people insist on doing completely idiotic things such as watching a scoreless Jets v. Bills game?

Now that epic slides are prosecutable, let's hope Johnny Manziel gets convicted too.

This guy is an idiot, and should be held responsible for his actions, but by that same token...where was stadium staff during this whole thing? You'd think at some point one of them would've noticed what this guy was doing and be like "Okay...no...you need to go now."

It's no surprise the Buffalo Bills fan failed to make it over the hump on 4 consecutive attempts.

When asked to comment, customs officials said, "Mmmph mmph mmm."

Most of the 86 pounds were in the form of the team's dulce de leche mule.

This game will have the first online coin flip.