Hehe. +1

Actually, the family only requested four players, to serve as Pesky Pall-bearers.

Very nice.

Yeah, these kinds of events are usually first come, first Serbed.

"I always knew Pippen was an asshole. I mean, seriously — a Panamera?"

Good stuff.

I'm not surprised. It was clear that Sheriff Getcha was going to lose the November election anyway.

Heh.

Frump only made matters worse by overreacting and whistling Ebert for his sixth foul.

Heh.

Nice.

This made me laugh.

Clemens thinks he still has enough in the tank to take the mound—and the Sugar Land Skeeters think he's enough of a draw to offer a contract.

"I managed to get Prince in a cold tub once. It was the same way I dealt with my horny chihuahua."

Heh.

Treefontaine

"Look, I'm sorry... it's just... being trapped in that awful place for so long made me say some stupid things."

"A defamation suit," Bochetto said, "only propagates the allegations."

"Ugh. There goes our whole September marketing campaign."

That's good.