Sounds like a good investment, but I'd rather spend my $50 on a block of 12 Yankees tickets. (I buy 11 hot dogs for the unused seats, if you must know.)

T.O. also claims the team owes him 50% of merchandise, tickets and concessions from his time with the team.

Heh, nice.

Oh... I get it. I looked at the ring below his waist. So he gets to punch me now, right?

"I admit people were right about the connection between the lottery and frozen balls, but it's not quite what I thought they meant."

Very nice.

A short time later he issued a retraction, apologizing to the nation's veterinarians.

Forget the contract and scheduling concerns; I want to know where they're getting those tiny eagles!

Italian prosecutors, on the other hand, are itching for another chance at "Hard Knox."

Perfect for the old Grand Drag 'n' Bunt.

She's getting tapped merely because … well, she kinda looks like Beadle.

Reminds me of my high school girlfriend: a scoreless streak and lots of Orel.

They haven't seen my spec script for Gravity's Rain Blow yet.

"So how does this affect my autograph business?"

Look, can I just get my damn phone activated or not?

The creepiest part was the highlights reel he would show before each session.

Heh.

Nice.

There it is.

At least we can all agree that talking about Battier's condition is raisin awareness.