This site can't be ALL dudes, can it?

Alright, I'm accepting nominees for new planets we can move to. I think the tumor on this one is inoperable.

But thats not 'Retha Franklin.

How the fuck is Trump not able to tie his tie at the proper length???

When Washington sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're not sending you. They're not sending you. They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems with us. They're bringing terrible standup. They're bringing terrible jazz routines. They're rapists. And some, I…

I'm starting to think Chris Brown may be kind of a jerk.

Those tweets are…unfortunate.

Katie Rich did something that was very strong and shes paying a big price. And there’s a lot of problems. Leave it the way it is. Katie Rich, what she's going through, with all of the business and all of the strife — and that’s on both sides — you leave it the way it is.

I like this guy. Nice interview.

First person to reference member berries gets spanked.

Yeah, it was one of those, "we can't think of an ending to the sketch, so lets just have something explode at the end and call it a day."

This guy…this is not my kind of guy.

Unfortunately, committing acts of terror in the neighborhood does not fly in the 21st century.

Seriously. I didn't know someone could make so many facial expressions in 30 seconds. She really sells the disappointment that you selected an inferior frequent flyer miles credit card.

Yeah. I am an adult. I drink milk. Before now, I did not realize this marked me as some kind of perv.

Why should they spend money to produce 5 Conan's a week when they have all these Big Bang Theory tapes just lying around and only airing 23 hours a day?

We're in full Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire mode here.

Roethlisberger should probably just turn all his cell phones over to Goodell right now, lest he risk becoming involved in protracted Federal litigation over ball inflation.

Beyonce takes Ubers?

Its tough to follow up a masterwork like the “Dicks Out For Harambe” meme.