This could be dangerous. A small child could get inside, then be unable to lift the lid; he’d suffocate quickly.

If anybody claimed that a reclining seat would “crush their knees” and “make the flight agony” and “will leave them bruised for days,” I’d roll my eyes so fucking hard because that’s the most histrionic shit I would have ever heard.

That blows, but the true test of your humanity is this: if the gentleman behind you explains that he’s over 6’5” and that reclining your seat will crush his knees, make the flight agony, and will leave him bruised for days, and politely requests that you *not* put your seat back, how do you respond?

And then “she was forced to marry him”. That is the worst part. Chained for life to an asshole rapist. Hopefully, he’ll die very soon!

Ok. So you know how when you were a kid and dressed up as a hobo for Halloween, and you used a stick from the back yard and a bandanna to make your hobostick?

Ugh, fuck this lady.

Can you imagine the nuclear-level shitfit some conservatives would have if a liberal clerk refused to issue someone a gun licence because they didn’t like firearms? They’d be furious, and you know, rightly so. People have a right to expect public officials to follow the law, even if they don’t agree with it. If you…

You should see some of the awful endangerment rings people get off the internet thinking they’re somehow getting a great deal. Especially when they show you the picture they saw on the internet that hardly looks like the ring at all.

Ive never understood how the diamond business isnt completely gutted by resale. Is there some form of collusion with the producers and the people buying up all the resale diamonds? With the marriage turnover in this country you would think diamonds wouldnt be worth the precious metals that they are mounted on.

That scarf has a purpose: it’s the “Elegant silk sash designed by Anne Rothschild”!!! My mom was a L’eggs woman in the 70s/80s. My sister and I would put the plastic egg halves under our shirts and pretend they were boobs. I don't know why I felt the need to tell you that.

Here is the original mural, I believe...

They sold it to us as women’s sexual liberation.

Those spots are dermatosis papulosa nigra. They’re a common benign skin condition in older black men. Morgan Freeman has them. Danny Glover has them. Nelson Mandela had them. They are not something that anyone needs to be ashamed of. Bill Cosby is a despicable piece of shit, but his skin is fine. His behaviour is not.…

The Playboy Mansion was like a frat house for celebs and everyone knew it.

I got no sympathy for the last story. It’s not even WTF worthy. Walk your lazy ass to the restaurant, three blocks is not a fucking Arctic expedition.

Or only to adults. Corey Feldman’s been pushing for recognition of child sexual abuse in Hollywood for YEARS.

Goldfish tend to jump out of their bowls in the middle of events, as well. Those centerpieces are never really animal safe and the fish try to migrate. Little tiny suicides all over your wedding. Awesome. Go for it.

I actually like the button bouquet, except not in brown. And I bet it’d be heavy, so you have a chance of braining someone during the bouquet toss.

If Whoopi Goldberg ruins my ability to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation, she will rob me of my last precious memory untarnished by scandal and spared by alcoholism.