I’m looking forward to the #TimsUp story about him eating his handler.

This circus bear, whose slave name is “Tim”

A duck walks into a convenience store and asks the guy behind the counter, “You got any Chapstick?” The store owner says, “Sure. You wanna pay for it now?” The duck says, “Nah, you can just put it on my bill.”

I loved Night Court when I was a kid, and have caught some reruns as an adult. It holds up. He is the beating heart of that show. Bull, Dan, Ros, Christine, Mack, and others were great characters, but Harry Anderson grounded it, with his own sharp humor. Harry, Mel Torme, and corny magic tricks. 65 is far too young. I…

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/true

ANW doesn’t work as an acronym whatsoever. Just the other day someone said to me “the last few ANWs have been fucking awesome” and I thought to myself “aren’t you diabetic?”

“There’s ice all over the air canada centre too, they should cancel the Leafs game. Please, just cancel it, we can’t do this anymore” Torontonians

This never would have happened at SkyDome.

Maybe John Olerud had the right idea all along.

Fuck every last “law enforcement” officer.

Kevin needs to go sit his Black Lucky Charms ass down somewhere.

He’s right, of course. Because God forbid somebody ever have a teachable moment where they make a breakthrough intellectually.

After moving to a Philly suburb for work. I was in my residence for about 4 months.

“Calling the police is the epitome of escalation, and calling the police on black people for noncrimes is a step away from asking for a tax-funded beatdown, if not an execution.”

Purple Rain will be forever off limits. Yes I know they happen but I refuse to listen to them... Therefore they don’t exist.

“Give the man his dinger!”

I have never...attempted to gain a competitive advantage.

It’s Friday

Even more terrifying, Pacific Bell is immediately devoured by AT&T.

Here’s hoping Bayern can do all us proponents of justice and righteousness a favor by defeating the forces of iniquity and evil.