“Hip Hop died on the way back to his home planet.”

That’s assuming too much, basically that he has a chance of fighting (a multi-billion-dollar cartel) City Hall and winning.

No empathy here for any of these clowns.

+1 ballfield littered with eggshells

Hey-o!

#ICouldAlso

This deserves way more stars than the one I just gave it.

“Pat, this one is for you!”

This is what happens when it’s Thursday night and your column idea box is empty so you perform a seance with Andy Rooney.

This is an awful take. 20 minutes isn’t even enough for two Steely Dan songs and a band intro.

+1

“Piss on Joe West’s grave” is on my bucket list.

But seriously, get Fultz the fuck off the court. Drug him and send him to the Badlands in an Uber if you have to.

+second base, third base, and home

The article was missing some traditional Haisley shade, and as far as I know, Dele Alli doesn’t rap.

Flesh-eating bacteria must have been on back order.

That is such horseshit. I’ve been waiting for Nadia Comaneci to come out with her own #MeToo story.

No, just Fultz. Get him the fuck off the court.

#53%

He’ll adapt.