If there is a god, he checked out on humanity a long time ago.

Shit, I always assumed Bela was doing it too.

At least one, back in the 80s.

They should have waited until April 23rd.

This guy is such a slime, he has even fewer hit points than I do.

I’m just going to assume this is sarcasm and move on...

I read this in Todd Bridges’ voice.

He’s convinced himself that he’s the smartest person in the building every night, which usually isn’t the case. But even if it was, that’s the kind of hubris that leads to the way he mismanages his bullpen in October.

She caught a star AND a P-Wing right before she started this letter. This is the full-length version of “Do I Do” of racist rants.

Her name could have also been Susie... or Becky.

I’m slowly weaning myself off the product— I’m really bad at quitting anything cold turkey.

Figures that Billy would enjoy a supercut of front-runners.

But wait, there’s more!

Hear hear!

I have to take a pill for a scheduled substance in order to walk into Costco.

It’s definitely a power move. It’s a lot easier to endure if you stop fighting it.

“Let me show ya something!”

The people who aren’t checking for his post-Relapse stuff probably haven’t grown up. But Marshall has.

Oh my god. That’s next month’s issue!

A Stoney Jackson reference. As I live and breathe...