Everyone’s an armchair assassin.

The tendon is often replaced with one from a cadaver. Which means Quinn Cook might miss next season too.

I know a guy who posts a picture every time he and his wife leave the house and they all include the phrase “my love”. They have more marital problems than the Clintons.

Finally, a video that belongs on Deadspin.

Of all people, you’re surprised that this guy abstains from being a swinger when he encounters another dude in an unfamiliar position?

Seems like Jizyah Shorts peaked too early. 

Not sure Christ really cares much about gold medals. He got hung up on some silver, though.

Damn, Albies’s contract is for over five thousand years?

Like Tammy Lahren, she serves a purpose.

Great analysis. See also:

i have not seen your beaver

1. The

...attorney and fellow wrestling coach...

Goddamn, man. This being Deadspin, I want to make a joke...but I just can’t; nothing about child abuse is humerus.

What is “really fucking depressing”?

I’ve given it to your mom plenty of times and she said it’s been more than sufficient

My mother had to abort what would have been my baby sister for similar reasons. She had severely deformed internal organs, and a large cyst that destroyed most of her brain. Carrying her to term would have been unspeakably cruel for everyone involved. My parents’ dream of adding a sweet little girl alongside their…

Word out of Washington is that their plan was always to have him be John Steel Slats anyway.

Kerr better be careful with his load management or he’ll get fined for self-tampering

“Nail tit.”
-Emmitt Smith