The 2014 Tesla P85D that I bought in 2018 (with 6,000 miles on it!) came with free supercharging for life—as did all used Teslas at that time. I’ve never paid one penny for charging, except when I plug it in at my house overnight.

Hey Drew. You’re the best, and good luck with the brain and everything.

The world’s a little scarier outside of them rallies, dickhead. 

HURRRRRR I’M CONFUSED THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SPORTS AND NOW I DON’T KNOW HOW I’M GONNA GIVE YOU MY MONEY HURRRRRR

They should post another one that says: “I am a former social media account manager.”

I like to take the dog out to shit in my man clogs.

I am also a 41-year-old dad who started smoking weed just a few years ago because it’s so unquestionably more healthy than alcohol, with the added benefit of feeling like Einstein when I’m high except I never remember to write any of my ideas down.

I came here in doe-eyed expectation of a FunBag. Now I’m just reminded that everything sucks and is the world is unfair and awful.

I would gladly pay a The Athletic-type subscription fee to Deadspin if it guaranteed me a weekly segment of this stupidly perfect show.

The MMA is no place for punching and violence.

At first glance I thought the referee had the second-worst haircut* in human history until I realized there’s a ever-so-slightly taller bald dude hiding out directly behind him.

Maybe he should have disguised it as a United States Treasury bond.

Kansas City fans went through the entire steroid without having a player eclipse the immortal Steve Balboni’s club record of 36 home runs. A record that was occasionally reached before the all-star break by other players, had been more than doubled by Barry Bonds. The shame of this stat was overbearing. We sheepishly…

Pretty cool, but doesn’t hold a candle to the GOAT. 

Those of us who watched the Royals lose to the Giants in Game 7 of the 2014 World Series knew exactly what you’re talking about.

I took my 11 year old son to Arrowhead last year for the AFC title game. (I was a season ticket holder for 8 years during the Trent Green/Priest Holmes/Larry Johnson era, so I thought I knew what I was getting into.)

This is the type of nard-hitting journalism that we all expect from Deadspin. 

“Luke Kuechly shouldn’t be on a football field anymore but he’ll play until he’s 37 anyway and die when he’s 52.”

Tesla Model S owner here. Those things are impenetrable fortresses if you don’t have the key with you or if the app on your phone isn’t connecting. Stealing one without a forklift or a crane would be virtually impossible—like making a phone call on a locked iPhone with a dead battery.

Very conflicted about this situation as a Chiefs fan, know what I’m saying?