I went to Journalismism school at the same time that Seth Wickersham and Wright Thompson were there. And I say “with” purely in the sense that we were all enrolled in J-school at the same time and they wouldn’t know me from Adam, given that the most important thing I learned at J-school is that I wasn’t going to make…

CORRECTION: Credit: Budweiser

“Lotta oral labor for something that will make you shit like a busted hydrant.”

I cried when I saw the interview his son did with Popovich. Now I feel dirty and used. I know it’s probably some fucked-up family matter involving Stepmother, but on the surface it seems like a pretty shitty thing to do to your grandkids.

[plays video] Don’t see anything.

Why would a defense ever be fooled by a fake spike? Why wouldn’t you just anticipate that it could happen every time an offense lines up to clock the ball?—is there a downside that I’m not thinking about?

He’s black.

Bed naps = long periods of recovery rest.

It is reprehensible that this man is allowed to be on television instead of the place he is eminently more qualified to be: The US Senate.

All sports radio callers are bad, but can I submit “Guy Who Literally Wrote Down Every Word Of His Terrible Rant And Is Obviously Reading It On Air” as the shittiest of all?

“I CAN’T HELP BEING THIS BIG, LADY!”

Back in college, we used to pack up our crappy equipment and head out to the baseball fields to work off our hangovers by playing a little home run derby. Problem was a lot of the time the normal fields were often reserved by the University softball team or local recreational leagues, so we would only have the option…

I ran my first marathon this weekend. They would have had to have given the leaders a 2-hour tour of the city in order for me to pass them for the win.

Drew, I’ve purchased and read all of your books so far and they’ve been great. I think I would pay upwards of $200 for a 300-page book of nothing but Jim Tomsula life hacks so I could hit a little off the THC vape pen and just laugh myself silly for hours on end.

That’s the response of a man who watched his HOF quarterback go down and knows that the media narrative of him being a good head coach is about to be exposed as a total fraud.

Home Goods and Michaels are indeed awful, but the church background music and my unwillingness to ignore their awful politics puts Hobby Lobby solidly into first place.

“...and he can get it up-and-down from jail.” 

It must be magic how they can all move so well considering their constricting underwear.

I also look forward to a synergistic and open discussion about core issues and in-season platforms with Roger Goodell and the NFL owners, in which I will begin dialogue by simply saying: Get bent, fuckers.

Yeah, he clearly has no interest in being there; he’s pouting, staring off in the distance with his eyes rolling around his head like he’s an 11-year-old boy during a sermon in church, but god damn it as long as he’s bipedal during the anthem I guess he’s a better man for the job than Kaep.