That’s nothing. For the last thirteen years my wife has walked on two.

He clearly needs Royals mascot Sluggerrr’s agent to help get him better gigs.

Drew, Drew Drew. As a fellow father of three, how can you not have the Exercise Ball and its devastating comedic power on your list???

She seems to be doing pretty well considering that apparently she was born with one leg that is twelve inches longer than the other one.

My 6 and 8-year old sons have just started playing basketball, so we lowered the rim in our driveway to 8 feet—the same as the rims they play on in their league.

Sometimes there's so much beautiful snark in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.

Good news for AP? That's a switch.

Maybe he got lost in a desert for 40 days or so.

I can't wait until male-pattern baldness sets in!

At least he has Jessica Rabbit there to help console him.

The most precious gift my wife gives me every year is her complete cynicism towards this stupid holiday.

Depending on how the baby is positioned, he could still be kissing a butt.

And the girls in what office?

That's exactly how it plays out in every guy's fantasy about being a hero.

Amazing. He still managed to be full of shit.

"Goddamnit, I hope the Green Bay Gazette doesn't try this."

If one of those 15 jobs is the hairstylist for Skeletor up there, they probably need to be fired.

Wow. That's bally.

That's a pretty shitty ratio between the price of that guy's video camera and what he must've paid for that seat.

These are not grown-assed men. These are petulant babies.