I'm going to concuss myself on my desk, thanks to Curt and whatever moron decided to release the statement from the STL police union.

Mizzou fans just had a 'Nam-like flashback to 1997.

It was a $40 part and about an hour's work to install, so I felt like I could pull a fast one on an unsuspecting and/or oblivious seller.

Drew, we're about the same age and I have three kids as well—all boys. The third kid has been particularly trying, and I'd be lying if I said there haven't been several points in time where I've thought about running into the garage and giving myself a vasectomy via weed-whacker. Like every other guy on here, I just…

I giggle every time Angry Ram hits the bag and stands there with a look on his face of pure satisfaction, only to have it pendulum back and knock him sideways while he seems to think "what the fuck?!?"

That's a picture of Rosie Ruiz, taken in 1980.

Yeah, they're probably right. But that explanation was written exactly like you would expect a self-righteous third-year journalism student to write it.

I had no idea Andy Reid played keyboard.

Asked what time she expected him to arrive, Ms. Rhimes replied "not really sure—he's tough to nail down."

Listening to that, I couldn't picture Wolf as anyone other than Joe Swanson from Family Guy.

I'll bet that deep down the QB was kinda pissed that he didn't get into the end zone.

"apologizing in his postgame presser to any children who saw him"

So...for the tl;dr crowd: Yes.

On the Venn diagram of "People who support Ray Rice" and "People who support Adrian Peterson," society could completely do without the motherfuckers in the overlapping portion.

21-year-old Me did a lot of dumb shit, I'm sure.

36-year-old Father of 3 boys Me wishes this university would burn to the fucking ground.

She didn't want to take everyone back to the minivan to do the diaper change.

It would not include the "trending on related blogs" app that continually flashes day-ruining stories involving dead children or people stabbing their pets with screwdrivers and eating them. I go to sports websites topretend that this stuff doesn't exist for a few hours.

Otherwise, watch all the anchors' varying mispronunciation of what is, again, a world capital.

Solution: Strip off the Mercedes emblem and write "Honda" on the trunklid with a black sharpie. 99% of the morons that are complaining will never know the difference.

Internet also says we didn't land on the moon. Also, chemtrails.