[through translator] "I'm glad I wasn't sitting in that chair."

Nothing will ever top this one:

Unavailable for comment:

For the male voice, anything below a C2 that is sung in traditional "chest voice" is a very low bass note that can generally only be vocalized by men with deep, resonant voices. I am dubious that all these male singers are capable of as much as a fourth or fifth below that note unless they allow a "vocal fry"…

Bro...I hope you weren't wearing mixed fibers when you typed out that foolishness.

If we stopped accepting religious zealotry as an acceptable excuse to ignore mental illness, this man might be able to get the help he needs.

Given the level of risk vs. reward, there is no reason to ever slide headfirst. It's a shame that it will take another 20 years for this to sink in to the baseball world.

Riveting. And probably apocryphal.

Fine, and hypothetically if he came over to my house and kicked my dog it would also make him an asshole. But that didn't happen either. He gave relatively mundane answers to questions asked to him during an interview, and because the zeitgeist is that "Albert Belle is an asshole," the biggest sports blog in the…

If you randomly ran into Albert Belle at a bar and walked up to his table and started bothering him with questions about things that happened 20 years ago it would make you the asshole.

So, where's the part where he acts like a world-class asshole?

I win!

As a Mizzou grad and fan, I am proud and supportive of Michael Sam on the decision he's made. I'm also thankful that he waited until after the Ole Miss game that I attended in Oxford to make this public.

Pictured: Clay Bennett's new jerk rag.

What I haven't heard a valid answer to at any point leading up to the Super Bowl is why the hell people weren't allowed to WALK to the game. What possible reason would there be?

You don't know where Phoenix is, do you?

So to update the scorecard, it's Bloviating Sportswriter 1, Bloviating Sportwriters 0.

Writing. Like. This.

Ah. I see. But still, you might get to see a hippo do this.

Your dangerous animals list is made worthless by not mentioning hippos.