All it’s missing is the “lol we had this four years ago” Android comments.

If this is what Gizmodo is like, I'm missing out.

Pictured, PinballMonster typing that comment:

Where have I seen crazy eyes like that before...hmmm...

Back in 2001 I worked at Bath and Body Works at Lenox Mall in Atlanta, GA when Whitney and Bobby came in. Whitney bought over $600 of candles and lotions. Bobby picked out one thing - a fishbowl full of small orange goldfish shaped glycerine soaps. He wanted every single one we had for his daughter. I can’t stop…

When my baby began to die during my labor, within seven minutes of the fetal monitor indicating her distress, he had me stretched out on an operating table and delivered of a healthy newborn. Still, my friends kept talking about their beautiful experiences in birthing centers, in pools in their own living rooms, the…

Why would you wear cargo shorts anywhere, let alone to a golf course?

Well, Georgia’s a great place to leave.

cunt

C’mon! Only about a billion. Hmm, I wonder why feline references seem to abound? As for the infamous C word, let’s just say that the last man who used it in my presence no longer enjoys my presence. [Peers over spectacles in a severe manner.]

Ok,Moon, my lad. Vanessa gave us a tour of our lady parts. When are you going to tell us about the family jewels?

Well, the NGO part was just me being militant. I’d like to replace it with “work anywhere that pays you in more than room and board.”

I just need to declare something. Not you you, rivalamoureux, but to Slate.com. Imagine I’m standing on a table with a megaphone. Ahem.

One of the biggest bands on the planet, early 90s, did Nirvana get your friend pregnant?

A friend in HS allegedly slept with Jakob Dylan when the Wallflowers came through in jesus, like ‘97? She still mentions it whenever I’m back home and get drinks with old friends. It’s like Pierce Hawthorn and Eartha Kitt only way, way sadder. Also... she was maybe not so legal.

We have a pinball machine but it is very rarely used. I feel like this is insulting to the pinball gods but it is always just so covered in clothes!

But what about pinball?! That shit's the best!

There is no performance if there is no audience

They bother you because you don't understand them, and because it gives you a reason to feel indignant. You would probably be bothered a lot more by recurrent diarrhea from untreated water, but your cognitive bias is to ignore the things you're protected from and worry about the things that have chemical-sounding…

Because it bothers me a fuckton less than the chlorine & fluoride in my drinking water.