His first aid kit includes several Affliction t-shirts and Drowning Pool mp3's

This may have been Junior’s first rodeo, but it wasn’t Manafort’s. Far from it. These fuckers are complicit and guilty, and we need this to be fucking done already.

“It’s pretty simple, I was just faster than my training partner.”

So, dude’s clearly just trying to save face after getting shamed for forgetting it was his week to bring the orange slices, right?

I felt like the chief objection to Sansa’s rape was that they panned the camera to Theon’s reaction, as if the trauma was his and not hers. In the long term, they did recover from that unfortunate directing choice and bear out the full weight of what Sansa went through from her POV. It’s still frustrating that most…

I’m to the point where the only thing I found surprising about this is that he’s figured out how to embed a video in a tweet.

White collar crime + white dude = probation.

Give it to me straight, doc. Is the gorilla alright?

Still nope.

Ass to ass?

Ass to ass!

I’m trying to decide if this is better or worse than going to Target with my kids.

Little known fact: this is how the Forester was born.

Tell him to stop filing these fake lawsuits and get back to writing the next Game of Thrones book.

He was good, friendly, affable, generous man. With a family. A small daughter. Who tortured and killed animals to entertain a mob.

So does that mean the bull won? Like, does he get to go home to his wife and kids after? Seems like he should.

“Fiscally responsible, family values candidate”

Can you imagine FDR tweeting “Pathetic excuse by PM Winston Churchill who had to think fast on his “Keep Calm & Carry On” remark. Sad!”

“For some reason, this issue of meteors has become an issue for the dinosaurs,” said Penceasaurus Rex.

Well I’ve been to one world fair a picnic and a rodeo and that’s the stupidest thing I ever saw come over the twitter. You sure you got today’s code?