I dream of the day I’ll be able to open Jezebel and not see the hairy cheeto with the anus mouth all over the first page.

Once again, Ted Cruz shows off his incredible sense of timing.

“OH COME ON I JUST GOT HERE”

Oh, Ted Cruz. Just when you thought your humiliation was over, things get even worse. You deserve it.

Pussyleaks

There are two kinds of people in the world...

Don’t worry in 10-15 years she’ll lose her vocal range. Those high notes are something you can’t keep up with age. Just ask Mariah Carey.

Interesting read! I definitely did not expect this amount of Ariana stanning, I will say.

it’s streaming on Amazon Prime!

I’ve watched people try and claim that the Clinton Foundation is a bad charity because it “only” uses 90%+ of its funds for charitable work and retains 10% ish for administrative stuff. Nevermind that 90%+ is amazing and beats the hell out of the vast majority of nonprofits out there. Apparently, it should be 100%.…

it’s not a birthmark, it’s cancer

“Associated Press found that over half of the Clinton Foundation donors met with Clinton during her time in office;”

Trump is going to win this election on false equivalencies.

None of the Clinton Foundation controversy, however, is quite as blatant as what we’re allegedly looking at with Trump.

Take heed, children: if you want a cookie, don’t try and sneak your hand into the cookie jar; just stuff your entire head into the cookie jar and wear it for a helmet, and people will just keep giving you larger cookie jars to see what you look like bobbing around under them.

Turns out Hillary isn’t the Crooked one after all! Just saving lives and shit.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. This is the exact kind of celebrity gossip that I need to balance out the horror that is this election year.

well he knows ISIS better then ISIS know ISIS.

I think they’ll take any remotely plausible credit for inspiring any loser that goes on a rampage, especially in the U.S. this season.