I don’t understand what “reading the rainbow” means in this context but I am here for days for “Chair of the Joint Chiefs of Sass.” That gets my vote.

Secretary of Shade is genius.

Dude, if I were the poor sister I would tell bride sister to absolutely take rich sister’s money. Then we could split the cash to go do something awesome just the two of us. And if we’re feeling bitchy we could plaster pics all over Facebook of our great time together. We could even tag mean sister like, “Without Mary…

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This is great. Maybe a bear because it’d get it over with pretty fast.

If you had to choose between living under President Trump or having your crotch eviscerated by a pack of rabid animals, which species of animal would you pick?

I fucking hate this man.

You know what’s frustrating?

Mazel Tov!!! So many tears. My WWII Veteran, Holocaust Camp-Liberating Jewish Grandpa just died last week. He was the best, most wonderful mensch of a human I could ever be honored to know. He had his Bar Mitzvah as a 13-year-old, but was a lifelong learner and student of all things including Judaism so he had an…

Back when I was convinced that this country would NEVER elect a loudmouth, stupid, clueless, stupid, racist, stupid, bloated, stupid, lying, stupid man, everything was fine.

I feel oppressed and with a sense of impending doom also.

No, it’s not just you and I live in another country, so...

Anybody else finding themselves sighing frequently, not enjoying things, like ice cream, as much, constantly feeling on the verge of unexpected violent tears? Anyone else get queasy when they turn on the news, cynical when they open their Facebook and wary when strangers start talking in a doctor’s waiting room that…

“The next time I see you, you could be the president of the United States,” Fallon noted, a smooth, untroubled expression on his face.

Meanwhile, on Seth Meyers...

All I want for Christmas is a gender neutral death threat.

It was wrong because everyone knows you don’t keep your deplorables in a basket. Deplorables must be properly vaccum-sealed and stored in used paint cans, preferably with the lids welded firmly in place before storage.

Every person I’ve ever met who says they’re on “disability” has complained about the government supporting “lazy people with their hands out”. I would be really interested in a study of strong Trump supporters and government assistance programs. I’m really curious how many of them rely on one or more programs in their…