I guess the bigger question is why CNN thought that the guy who exploited addicts for ratings would be a good addition to their network? Of course he was going to say and suggest stupid things, while using his title to legitimize said stupid things.

I would prefer a Tim Kaine in my family to the crazy, law-breaking uncles I have in there now.

So joyless, that one. “That’s a throat lozenge, not a hard candy, Auntie Pence!”

He totally is that spinster aunt you hated having to visit as a kid because the only tv she’d watch was the Christian channel and she cared very much that you actually be seated quietly on the couch where she could keep an eye on you.

No, Tim Kaine is not my real dad. But he is my favorite uncle.

Oh man, you KNOW he wears socks with sandals.

Omg, he is the pursed lipped, pearl clutching spinster aunt isn’t he?

I just snorffled my coffee.

He’ll be my real dad when I see him in socks and sandals.

Oh my god, it makes so much sense.

Damn straight, Gary.

You didn’t find a harmonica in your pocket and knowledge of how to play harmonica in your heart the second your child uttered its first cry? I thought that came standard for each New Dad™.

He’s such a dad, but he thinks he’s the fun uncle. Better than Pence, who thinks he’s the strong patriarch, but is really the judgmental spinster aunt.

How did Donald summon the Devil to sign away his soul in exchange for the presidency? Was it a three times in the mirror situation? Did he have to find a deep cave in the jungle where a dragon lay sleeping? Or did he just write “I agree to hire the devil and all his minions” using his own blood on the wall?

This has been a truly fun week.

You guys, someone who is willing to cut off another person’s air supply - even for a moment - is dangerous as hell.

I’m sorry, but there’s just not anything left for Trump to do that would shock me. You could have put up here that this man was a former priest and child molester who had two families and now runs his own shady business in money laundering, and I would think, “but of course he does.”

For a guy whose immigration policy is going to rely heavily on “extreme” vetting Trump seems to be absolute shit at it. Corey, Manafort, and now this loser. Shocker. Also that Florida voting fraud detail is so deliciously ironic.

You know how we’re always going on about there needing to be healthy relationship advice and stuff for teenagers, like teaching them DV warning signs and stuff? “Has rightwing political beliefs” should be one of those signs at this point.