No one ever said switching to triathlons was easy.  RIP

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

How’s that boot tasting? 

because it was reported? https://deadspin.com/report-the-pelicans-invented-a-new-kind-of-tampering-a-1832415741

Next they’ll tell us Bukowski was a drunken jerk.

You laugh but in a little while Las Vegas will learn how having a mediocre NFL team transforms a city into a thriving, cultured metropolis that is the envy of everywhere else. Just look at Jacksonville, Cincinnati or Glendale!

After her breastfeeding feet...

I love how, in multiple ways, baseball is making itself less fun on purpose and wondering why people like it less than they did in the past. But don’t worry, shaving 3 minutes off a game will bring everyone back!

It’s pretty luxe, actually.

“Let’s not shit on the news anchors who are just doing their jobs.” - Hannah Arendt

I know comedy’s subjective, but if you’re going to joke up about somebody’s death, the punchline ought to be funny.

Neither is “Glen.”

I would say about Tim Lee that “I haven’t seen a man leave such a burning wake in his trail through Atlanta since Sherman,” but most of Cobb County doesn’t have access to the books to explain the joke.

Emma makes a lot more sense when you consider that her parents are both psychotherapists, and her father, in particular, a psychoanalyst to CEOs.

He has the right to be a hateful idiot and doesn’t owe anyone an apology for it.

I’d tell the officer’s wife to sleep with one eye open, but that doesn’t seem like the best advice in this case.

Stop saying, “full stop,” Adam Savage. A period ends a sentence. We get it.

I am beyond amazed that renowned asshole Mark Wahlberg behaved like such an asshole.

Don’t you realize that the internet banning together to fuck up someone’s life is like a Black Mirror episode? I’m indifferent to what he did, but even if I had an issue with it, I wouldn’t be going around yelling about what I personally consider to be morally correct. I hate internet lynch mobs and I hate censorship.

As opposed to the rest of the scholars that get “accepted” to Michigan to play football?