Can’t say I’m surprised there’s more to Hill than just the previous story.

“No, that is not even remotely correct.”

My point is more or less that there is no structural difference between a “healthy boundary” and what we would term emotionally manipulative abuse. The ultimate difference between the two is whether we (or anyone considering the situation,) thinks the “ask” or demand is reasonable, or otherwise jibes with our sense of…

I think that is why some people are so divided over whether what he said was manipulative or not. Using your example, asking to be called Edward vs Eddie is asking very little of other people and doesn’t require them to make any impactful changes to their life. Whereas, what Hill is asking is for changes that affect…

Boundaries are about your behavior and what you do, not about the other person.

as far as psychologists are concerned, boundaries are entirely about one’s own self and behavior.

But setting boundaries is something you do for yourself—not an excuse or moral justification to control others.

Yeah, that’s definitely shitty—but if you determine you really can’t live with it (you thought you could, but you can’t,) what is the answer? Stay in the relationship and be unhappy? Do you dump the person and lie as to the reason, or refuse to tell them why out of fear of producing a coercive effect or being…

Really that’s one hell of a take. Hill wrote those abusive texts with his own hand, but it’s the victims is bad because she released them? That’s rich. 

That’s what’s getting lost in this conversation... The abortion pill is only prescribed up until the 10th week, when the fetus would be the size of a grape, and the risk of complications outside of a medical facility would be minimal. At 29 weeks, the fetus would be over a foot long, and the risks of complications…

Hill wasn’t communicating boundaries; he was laying down rules. Big difference.

I’m having a hard time reconciling 29 weeks.

One of my best friends growing up (and not romantic in any way, that’s important) met and eventually married a guy in college who did not allow her to speak to or hang out with any other guys, and only let her see her girlfriends when he was around. I ran into them about a decade ago, it my first time ever meeting…

And no legitimate therapist would have engaged at this level or inserted themselves into the public eye like this.

I’m cracking up thinking about the metallica doc where their therapist starts to see himself as a member of the band and is passing them notes with lyrics he wrote for them to use

Anyone who watched the documentary Hill made about his therapist and his relationship with his therapist could have clocked this. That documentary is a big mess of boundaries. His therapist and him tell each other they love each other. He invites a documentary crew he’s directing into his therapy sessions. He explores…

Maybe, but a lot of people I know don’t actually think that far ahead when it comes to relationships.

FTFY

From what I can tell Hill wasn’t forcing her to stay in the relationship. Were his “boundaries” excessive? Yes. But that doesn’t amount to abuse. I see no evidence that he was being coercive. He said what he wanted and told her to take it or leave it. There may be more to this that would make it actually coercive or…

When you stigmatize and then criminalize something which should never have been in the first place, this is the result.