In her defense, Proctor & Gamble are in league with Satan. The rest is nonsense.

No, I’m saying Jez and the Root’s Mean Girl obsession with Taylor Swift is boring. I can’t name 2 Taylor Swift songs but even I know the girl is bland but harmless and yet they act like she’s a blonde Pol Pot. And no, I’m not projecting, you’re being hypocritical if you don’t think that were it anyone else, a feminist…

Your dick is so small you pee on your balls. Go back to eating peanut butter off your dog’s asshole, shitbird. :)

I still don’t get it, that you could be fighting for the US and then get deported. It simply shouldn’t be possible.

“If the facts are on your side, pound the facts. If the law is on your side, pound the law. If neither is on your side, pound the table.”

...cats allowed in the bed...

I’m confident that this bill will make life more difficult and dangerous for sex workers while making sure the men who “accidentally” ended up paying for their services get leniency.

Turns out it is totally legal to discriminate against someone on the basis of them being an asshole.

The upcoming meeting at the White House, which ESA will attend, will provide the opportunity to have a fact-based conversation

Considering that the evangelicals passionately believe in a magic deity in the sky who controls everything but we can’t see, hear, or detect in any tangible way whatsoever, who created the entire universe in six days, and who made a son in a virgin’s womb that came back to life after being dead for three days. I’m…

Wouldn’t a proctologist provide a better explaination?

Also to, you know, stop doing that shit

It’s so weird that they’d rather believe a school shooting is caused by a shadowy government conspiracy, rather than a rogue human being.... It soothes their fear of chaos, because if it IS a shadowy government conspiracy, at least that means SOMEBODY is actually in control. The fact that the universe is random…

Police should not carry guns, like 20 other countries.

I wish there was a way to find out what percentage of politicians actually believed in god. I’m sure some of them do, but how many of them just say they do because they know being an atheist is political suicide?

... (A)nd people honestly can’t distinguish between whether you seriously meant your Dickensian rhetoric, or were just inartful to the point of Bidenesque in your malapropism, then maybe, just maybe, there is something seriously messed up about your policies.

Gym memberships also only work if people have time to go to the gym and aren’t exhausted from work.

I’ll give them this, they’re trying damn hard to convince the whole world, not just the US, that the Emperor is in fact fully clothed. Not very well mind you; but gods bless them (with painful boils on the groin) they’re trying.

I mean, he didn’t say southern conservatism intrinsically condone terrorizing people with guns.

No that’s his mouth.