I'm surprised to see an article like this on this site, honestly. I remember when an article was published about the secret service members who hired prostitutes in Colombia, and Obama's admonishment was essentially a punch on the shoulder. The top comments were all about how he had to be careful about what he said,…

Except he is also the Commander in Chief, unlike most people.

This is President Obama's entire schtick.

Again, I must put this up, and will continue to do so, until we see a meaningful change:

tay > bey

Do you honestly think 'Murica is going to get the best and brightest CEOs if we only pay them 48X average worker pay like they do in Socialist Denmark? I'm sure our CEOs are worth AT LEAST 354 times average pay. It's not like they go around crashing our the world economy or that they're having to pay penalties for…

ME. ME. ME.

Also you can secret a speaker on your person and have this playing wherever you are.

Find a party, tell people you're coming and that you're going to be Carmen Sandiego, and then don't show.

you can tag yourself in Halloween party photos of your Facebook friends as "where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?"

Got married.

How many years ago was that? Was she worried about heroin or a different drug at the time?

Oh man, I am not in favor of this article from 'HAHA small-town hickoids sucks 2 be you' soup to the 'you stay classy' cliche nuts. The poverty and unemployment in rural PA is ghastly, and the young people living there, untrained for much of anything, with no steel mills or Corning plants to employ them anymore, are…

I take it you've never spent any time in Lancaster? If you had, you would know that it is a very progressive pocket in the heart of Central PA with a thriving arts and music scene, low unemployment, great restaurants, theater and shopping. There are drugs for sure but no more so than any other small city.

While I like mocking central PA as much as the next gal, this is so not just a pennsyltucky issue. Heroin use is up all over the place, and our efforts to deal with it are ridiculously inadequate.

Attention bad tippers: Paris Hilton is now a better person than you are. BOOM.

YEAH, BUT IS THERE MSG IN IT BECAUSE I DON'T EAT THAT

Jennifer Lopez has been offered a lube sponsorship. Not quite sure what a lube sponsorship is

I neeeeedddd to be in Professor Yeezy Class ! I already know the title of the first class lecture:

I'm going to quit my job and just devote my life to being an Ariana Grande's Ponytail truther.