cock-blocktopus made me snort tea out of my nose

Oh. Something else on Fox News I'm not going to watch.

She betta work!

I can into the comment section and was greeted with an ARMY of "NOPE" octopi.

I have a proportionately big booty and that's about how mine fit. I can't just buy the next size up because then the crotch is wide and baggy, and my labia fall out.

THANK YOU! Also, my boyfriend has an obsession with folding. If I get anywhere near his Tshirts, he will re-fold. We were totally made for each other.

Word. I make my boyfriend do the laundry and fold all the clothes while I clean everything else. I fucking hate folding. MAYBE MORTY LOVES FOLDING.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel please let down your hair."

*Patiently waits for someone to say how they aren't being true to the source material because Rapunzel was white*

well, now you've been reminded why you haven't talked to her.

Yes! And why, at the party, was she wearing a "fancy" dirndl, and not just a regular fucking party dress? It was shiny and satin-ish. She was clearly dressed up. If she was going to be wearing a milkmaid outfit, at least make it a fucking regular one.

Hey! Kristin and Tim! We have this fantastic idea to remake The Sound of Music! LIVE ON THE TV!!!! Want in????

I'm pretty much perfectly aligned with Alec Baldwin politically and I'd still rather have a beer with Jack Donaghy.

Everyone who wishes Dr. Ruth was their Bubbeleh, raise their hand. /hand up/

All I can think about now is what cotton ball poop looks like.

We actually ended up going to a different (black-owned) dealership after my husband couldn't get over how I'd been treated by myself. But you're right. I shouldn't even have gone back.

I don't want to live in a world where I'm not allowed to lust after Adam AND Idris.

I tried to find a gif of James on the horse from that episode for you but my internet skills are failing me this morning— so instead I give you this